Well it took me a lifetime to figure that out. My Mom lives her life thinking that people are obligated to do what she wants. I have lived mine hoping that people will do what I want. We both get the same results because people are going to do what they want generally and  not what someone else wants. So finally I get it. If  I need something done, I need to figure out a way to do it. If I can’t do it, I need to pay to get it done or barter the service. If along the way someone volunteers to do it, I’m ahead. This is not lowering my expectations of others, rather I see it as raising the bar for me. It will make me work out solutions rather than hope that someone will do it for me. You’d be surprised what you can accomplish if you put a heavy dose of brain cells to it!