My mother died January 4, 2016. That’s it. Even though I had her around for close to 65 years, she’s gone. And yes we could get on each others nerves and I often thought that she should filter what she said and patience was not her virtue. There’s a but here. But she sat up with me when I had the measles and entertained me when I had the mumps and was there before and after they took my tonsils out. Oh and she was at every corny school program, stood up to a particular Nun who had very low expectations of her students, helped me buy my first car, agreed to be on the mortgage of my first house and did all she could for my son her only grand kid.
And now she’s gone. No more conversations or getting her slant on the news and politics or the benefit of her very great instincts about people.
So stuck it up and call your Mom because one day she’ll be gone.
I was just going through the pictures that we took last month and came across this one. It’s my Mom. If we’re lucky she’ll be 97 in March. She has all of her faculties and basically takes care of her self. She won’t leave the house any more but she gets around inside. Yesterday was one of her most important days. She got to see the President sworn in for a second time. She voted for him both times (the second with an absentee ballot) and marvels at living long enough to see his presidency. Being born the grand-daughter of slaves it’s a pretty big deal to her. While we don’t always agree – both of us are opinionated – I have learned lots of lessons from her. For sure she has aged with grace and does not take any day for granted. She tells us often that if she goes today it’s okay. She has lived her life. She has few friends left but keeps up with mine and they enjoy the time and conversations with her. She dotes on the great grandkids and no matter how much she tries to get away from them when she’s tired, they end up in her room. She still puts on lipstick every day and recently had me order several of her favorite perfumes. She smells pretty good in the morning when she comes out to take her medicine! Don’t ask her opinion if you don’t want it. I’ve learned that one the hard way. All in all it’s a delight to have her around.
Since December several of my friends have dealt with parents with serious health issues. No matter what our ages, we don’t want to deal with our parents mortality. The likelihood is that we will out live them and we just don’t want to see that day come. My Dad died when I was in my mid-twenties and I of course miss him to this day. My Mom is still here at 96 and at least once a week she says “well how long do you think I’m going to be here?” I don’t know and today I don’t want to talk about it. So I can appreciate how they all feel. We can’t do much about these situations. We can be good supportive children and then the rest has to be left to prayer if you pray. I am here to tell you though that we need to do the things that will keep our sanity and give us bits of relief from our worries. For me and some of my friends that happens in the pool.
You all know that I am in the pool as often as I can be. Some days are better than others but all time in the pool is time I am not thinking about anything else. I sputter and choke a bit and still lack the stamina that I need but for sure I am not thinking about bills or ills when I am swimming. You may have something else that takes you away from it all and I encourage you to do that. Take the time for that familiar activity that makes you feel good. You won’t be sorry!