Category Archives: Moving Forward
Lessons from the Williams Sisters
I love tennis. Took lessons until my knees refused to make lateral movements. Like many I was pleased when the Williams sisters broke on to the professional circuit. Like many sports women have had episodic notoriety and these two young women made people take notice. Certainly as young African-American girls, they showed other that looked like them that tennis was a possibility no matter where you grow up. They made fashion statements (not always met with approval) and proved their father right on more than one occasion. They have dominated the sport for years and will certain be known for some firsts. As their father predicted, his girls have met more than one time in major tournament finals. But that is not what I learned from them.
When they lose they move on. Okay so Serena has had a few tantrums but in general when they lose they handle it with dignity and just move forward. That’s the first lesson. The second is that both ladies have diversified into other areas. They know that they won’t be playing tennis forever. Clothing lines, accessories lines , product development all there for the time when tennis becomes something they do just to keep fit. My compliment to their parents, church and community for helping them be so grounded. Serena likes doing nails and has enrolled in a school to get the cosmetology certification to work in a salon. The point is they have other interests and they pursue them. Does money and fame help? Sure. That doesn’t mean that you can’t do the same.
Operate heavy equipment for a living but would rather bake, why the heck not? What do you think?
Focus on What You Have Today
I know that for many of us the day includes a rehashing of what used to happen, how swiftly things used to get paid, blah, blah, blah. Today let’s focus on what we have. Are you happy for the bills you paid, the food you bought, the bed that you slept in? Even if you needed help to carry out some of those things. We have to dig deep and try to appreciate what we’ve got. If you forget, turn on the news or visit one of the news channels and check out the people in Haiti, Japan, Somalia.
For many of us, things are that bad. I don’t mean to diminish the trials and tribulations of anyone reading this because things are tougher for some of us than others but there is something good that you can point to. Family, friends?
Let the negative go, just for today.
Did You Lose Your Job? Say Thank You
Alright, that is the last thing that you intend to do. The fear, frustration and anger are probably still bubbling near the surface. I know. I have lived it. Yet I have discovered that taking a good hard look at ourselves and our lives generally comes when we have nothing obstructing the way. I thought about this during my walk this morning. When I was working full-time, I had a built in excuse for my lack of exercise, inability to finish projects, less than stellar housekeeping (I paid someone to do it) and a myriad of other things I didn’t do including pursue the things I love. Guess what? No more excuses.
Now I know if you are like me you still need income to pay bills. You still need to feel useful and you don’t want to be a burden to others. I get all that but at some point you will be sitting quietly and realize that you have to get on with life and perhaps re-inventing one’s self is the way to go. The cover story has been blown. Now what? I love crafts and spend a good part of my “free” days involved in knitting, crocheting, felting and writing (in my blog) about the whole mess. A career? I’m working on it! The personal issues like diet and exercise, no more excuses. I find that working out is good because it is something you can still control and the benefits are great. Also did you know that eating out a lot and buying junk food is expensive? I take my lunch or dinner when I teach and what a surprise I have more control over that too.
So when you adjust to your new circumstances and you will, remember to make lemonade with the lemons you were dealt.
Day One – Time Management Week
So last night I actually made a plan for today. My day began well up by 7:00 in the park by 7:45, home by a little after 9:00 breakfast by 10:00. One of my goals was to buy a yarn sampler from a group called Phat Fiber. The deal is that the package goes on sale at a particular time and the first to get on-line snag the limited number of packages. I showered dressed for church and turned on the computer, bought the yarn and made it to church early. The rest of the day was a little less scripted but I think it was a good start. Tomorrow I plan to go to the park, spend three hours reading and grading work for my on-line class and making several bill related phone calls that I dread but must make. I also decided to add a call to a friend each day that I haven’t been in touch with.
Let’s see where this goes. Join me anyone?
” A Journey of a Thousand Miles must Begin with a Single Step” Lao Tzu
Some days I have to fake it. Today wasn’t one of those days. I slept well and woke up energized. Went to Weight Watchers (down today) ran some errands and came home to knit. Did I mention that my pay was direct deposited to day after a long wait? Bills paid, feelin good. I didn’t have to think today I just did. Not always the case. Some days I worry. It’s in my DNA. Although I do it less I still do it and on those days I remind myself that if I don’t do anything else I can move forward. Just take that first step and keep it movin. Do what you can and don’t fret about what you can’t. I try very hard not to end the day thinking about what I couldn’t or didn’t do. Pay a bill, clean out a draw, call a friend, exercise. Because I am sure of one thing, if I wake up tomorrow as my pastor says clothed in my right mind and physically able to get around I have another chance.
Sometimes we have to fake the funk and act as if. Just take that single step. I bet more will follow!
What If….
So today I have to ask the question that will make a lot of people squirm. What if you lost your job tomorrow? Now I know that this makes you uncomfortable and it’s something that most of us don’t want to think about but what if? For years I said aloud and in my mind “I hate this job” and I did. I wanted out but would never in a million years have left the safety of the nice paycheck it provided. Nope not me. So the Universe said get out! And to make a long sordid story short I got out. My parachute was extremely old and full of holes and my getaway car had a flat. At an age when many of my fortunate contemporaries (Baby Boomers all) were taking early retirement, I was assuring my housemates (Mom and Husband) that I would find something. I had skills!
Well here I am four years later. No full-time position on the horizon. Guess what, I don’t care. After the initial shock wore off and reality set in I realized that the second half of my was not going to follow the pattern that the first half had. I did what everybody wanted me to do or thought I should do in the past so. Perhaps now is the time for what I want to do. Do I need to make money? Yep. But guess what I found out? That doesn’t mean torture.
So no fear. I’m not suggesting that you quit but what would you really want to do if that job wasn’t there any more? You might be pleasantly surprised!
“Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open” – James Dewar
Follow your instincts is the message today. I have had the feeling for months that using my computer will be the way to financial independence. How? Not sure yet. Maybe selling my crafts. Well I have spent the better part of the last few months on-line and amazingly after neglecting this blog for a year, people have responded to my recent posts! I think that what I am posting about resonates with so many baby boomers like myself because we are at the age where we are ready to retire or have been “downsized” into retirement but are by no means ready to sit on the front porch with a glass of iced tea. I want to do things, travel to places and continue to contribute to the world. So today I am following my instincts. Join me.
First Steps the Hardest 