Category Archives: Thoughts
Your First Responsibility This Year – Yourself
I went to a wake today. I have known this young woman since she was a child. She died Christmas day of complications of a life with diabetes. She was 41 years old. She was a wife and mother and one of the nicest people you ever want to meet. It was really sad. Her mother said to me please take your diabetes seriously and do every thing that you can to keep it in check.
Point well taken. None of us know if what we do will be enough. Enough to prevent, enough to reverse but one thing is for sure. Doing nothing will get us no where. I must be my priority to be of any use to anyone else. I wanted to mention this to all of you.
I know that many of us are going through financial , relationship, family, school, job traumas but you have to suck it up and make sure that you are first. No guilt. Take care of yourself. Need to visit the doctor, do it. Automatic withdrawal for the gym and you don’t go, start now. Need a time out take it. I scheduled my workouts for the next eight weeks. Can’t forget, it’s on the calendar. Hope some of you will join me.
I’m Going to Live like a Doozer in 2012
Fraggle Rock was one of my favorite kids shows ever. Can’t say that my son shared my love for the show but I never missed it. My favorite characters were the Doozers. These little guys spent all of their time mining, designing and building various structures. They use radish dust to create these structures which it turns out was the Fraggles favorite food.
So what’s my point? If you ever watched this show you know that in the middle of construction the Fraggles would just walk up and break a piece of Doozer construction off and eat it. The Doozers would stop for a moment and then just return to their task. Rebuilding what had been eaten. Wow! That’s the lesson. When somebody rains on your parade, just keep working. Take a breath and pick up where you left off. I won’t be daunted this year. I may have to restart a few times but so what. Good enough for the Doozers, good enough for me.
Kwanzaa Day Six – Kuumba – Creativity
The sixth day of Kwanzaa is a celebration of Kuumba, the creativity of the community. We look at the uplifting of the community through various forms of creative expression. Some have gatherings today and share food, dance and son.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Kwanzaa – Night Five – Nia
These are the principles that I have missed for day two, three and four:
Kujichagulia – Self Determination, Ujima – Collective Work & Responsibility, Ujamaa – Cooperative Economics
Today’s principle is Nia which means purpose in Swahili. This principle is about,our collective wish to build our community and restore our community to its historic greatness.
Happy Kwanzaa – First Day, Umoja
Kwanzaa is a celebration created by Maulana Karenga to honor African-American culture and heritage. It is not religious but begins on December 26th and some confuse it with an alternative religious celebration to Christmas. Not true. Kwanzaa is about family. It’s a time to get together and have a good time. One of the seven principles are read every night and a candle is lit on the kinara which is a candle holder. The last night results in a feast shared by friends and family.
First Night – Umoja (Unity) – promotes the maintenance of family community, nation and race
Happy, Merry And All That Good Stuff
It’s Christmas today to all who celebrate it. A quiet day at my house. Started out the day in church which was good for me. Waiting for the grands to come this evening so that we can watch them open gifts. We (Mother & Husband) don’t exchange. The gift thing is for the kids. The sentiment is for everyone. The reason for the season isn’t about spending money that you don’t have or could use in a better way.
A man dressed in a Santa suit is giving out envelopes with a $100.00 bill in it. Inside the envelope is a note that says pay it forward. Someone else is paying off toy lay aways at KMart for families, no questions asked.
That’s the spirit. So Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and to all a good night.
Two Funerals – Big Lessons
Believe it or not this morning I attended a funeral and this afternoon a memorial service for two friends who died this week. Both in their fifties and both ill for a long time. The first, my friend Larry apparently suffered from a life long illness that eventually led to his death. The second my friend Jerry was like a brother to me and he succumbed to cancer after a twelve year battle. So I am not writing this to talk about how sad it is that they died. But rather to talk about how well they lived.
I knew Larry for over twenty years professionally and to some degree personally (we shared personal friends) and I never knew that he was ill. He was always cheerful, had a laugh that could cheer up anyone and never complained although he was probably not feeling well often. He seemed to enjoy life and probably had an appreciation for the good times that we all should have. The church was full of friends, former co-workers and church members all paying tribute to a well loved man.
Jerry was diagnosed with cancer twelve years ago and was told that he had two to three years to live. He too was in almost constant pain but never complained. Today a gentleman got up to speak and said that he has cancer and that in 2004 he was defeated, depressed and ready to give up and then into the Chemo room walked Jerry. He said that Jerry came into the room and announced that he was told that he should have been dead already and that he was a fighter and that everybody that had chemo with him needed to be a fighter. The man said it changed his attitude. Wow!
So I will miss my two friends. But they will always be in my mind and when I get up with my aches and pains I’ll remember that sometimes we have to put a smile on our face and keep it moving.
Acceptance is Part of the Battle
So what have I learned at 60? To accept things. When I was in high school I could get up 4o minutes before I had to leave the house and do all the necessary things, get dressed and slide out of the door. At 60 I need an hour to an hour and a half to do the same things.
The body changes over time. Not all the changes are fun but most are inevitable. You can be upset but it won’t change anything.
I hate being called Miss Karen and other than the classroom where I think there needs to be a boundary, I just want to be called Karen, that’s my name. Okay so I hate that I look old enough to be called Miss Karen or anything else that serves as an age place marker.
I don’t like hearing my knees pop but I’m glad I can still walk on them.
It annoys me that people don’t believe that my hair isn’t dyed because I’m not gray. It’s in the genes for Pete’s sake.
But I have come to accept these things and truly I am happy every day when I get up. I look on each day with anticipation and though nothing earth shattering happens most days, that’s okay too.
Best of all I have accepted my journey as the one I am supposed to be on and good, bad or indifferent, I’ll keep moving forward as long as I can. Happy Friday!!
Happy Holidays – Be Thankful
Today begins the winter holiday season in the United States of America. If you ask ten people what Thanksgiving Day means you may get ten different answers. In 2011 for sure it is a day to reflect on what we have and be thankful for it all. Today, some did not get a special dinner and struggled to find shelter. The rest of us no matter how diminished our circumstances have plenty to be thankful for. Perhaps we can take the time to find a way to pay it forward and help those less fortunate. I make it my business to give a few dollars to the folks that I pass on the streets of New York on my walk to school. I put my clothing in the bins or drop them at a shelters so that someone else can use them. It ‘s not much but it’s what I can do now. Some times just a kind word can make a difference.
Between now and the New Year whatever your religion or tradition is take a little time to be thankful for people who are important in your lives. Remember to give a little to someone else no matter how small and oh yeah pray for me because thirty days of Christmas music on the radio is more than I can take.
Don’t Look Under the Bed and Other Advice I Ignore
I grew up a scary kid who loved the Twilight Zone and horror movies and then couldn’t sleep. My Dad built shelves for all of my dolls and they were right next to my bed. Under the bottom shelf was a dark space that (those of you who are old enough to remember the Twilight Zone episode) of course was the entrance to outer space. So very early on I learned to make sure that none of my limbs were out of the bed and preferably covered by at least a sheet. Also NEVER LOOK UNDER THE BED!!! Here I am at sixty, and I still have to sleep with at least a sheet. But I forgot the part about not looking under the bed.
So what do I mean? Sometimes as adults we aren’t satisfied until we find something wrong. We try to find something wrong our spouse has done, are suspect of our co-worker for no clear reason, are convinced that our kids are drug using, gun carrying bank robbers and that our boss has it in for us. In other words we are always looking under the bed. Now I am not suggesting that we should bury our heads in the sand but I wonder if some of us aren’t satisfied until we have proven that something must be wrong. The reason that we feel this way could have lots of causes and I am not analyzing anyone including myself. I am suggesting however that if you are constantly looking under the bed, let it go. Be observant but not overly suspicious. Look for the good in situations first. If there is a down side it will be revealed without your interference.
Give your self and the world a break. You may find that what ever is under the bed needs to stay there. If it floats out deal with it.
First Steps the Hardest 